距离产生的首先要面对的问题
就是如何相伴。
感谢信息时代让我们有了手机、短息、……
这看上去拉近了人与人的距离,
让人在千里之外也能做到相 伴,
但却让很多人忽略了
“语言的交流替代不了真实的相处”。
人不是电脑,
只用“语言”沟通信息,
我们确认另外一个人的存在,
靠的是全方位 的感知觉……
身上散发的味道,
眼睛看到的色彩、
神情,
说话的语气、
暖暖的体温、
甚至仅是呆坐着时的一种“默契场”……
这些都是比语言
更 容易产生“感情”的信息。
电脑、手机都无法帮我们传递它们,
我们只能用想象力
和自己的期望填补这种空缺,
可想而知,
想象力多容易制造误解。
何况短信可 能没有马上回,
电话没有马上接,
或接时环境音很“诡异”,回复动作迟缓…
…这些都会引出一连串猜想,
从而变成可怕的误解。
另外,
打字或电话的语言,
和面对面交流相差很多。
因为打字会放大字面的信息,
比如对方打了一个“好”,
如 果面对面加上语气神情,
你可能很容易明白
对方只是顺嘴说说答应而已,
但如果这个“好”字出现在短信里,
你就会觉得
它是态度很认真的,
甚至 当做一种重要的承诺。
这就制造了很大的误差。
打字的交流很容易让我们觉得对面的人理解我们,
又知心,
因为面对文字,
大家都有时间去考虑如何回答;
打电话的方式很容易让一个人变得健谈,
因 为我们必须要用声音把听筒填满,
但这个人可能在现实里非常不善言辞;
视讯电话看起来比前两者都要好了,
但却容易让你轻信一个人制造的画面,
毕竟在视讯的小 框框里,
造假或者无意识的装好是很容易的,
像《我的青春谁做主》里的霹雳,
就能在中国弄个背板视讯,
让她妈妈以为她在英国剑桥。
距离越远,
控制就越鞭长莫及;
沟通越难,
亲密感就越容易消失。
物理距离是直接影响心理距离的重要因素,
怎 么可能不是问题?
因为寂寞,
我们需要感情,
但为了感情,
我们却未必扛得住寂寞。
因为寂寞和感情本来就是两个不同等级的需求,
寂寞比感情更本能。
我们生下来就在学抗拒寂寞的 方法,
无论是自娱自乐还是与人同乐,
我们都想办法不让自己寂寞,
因为寂寞久了,
会病会死。
而感情,有当然好,
没有也不会死,
所以显然用感情抑制住不让自己 寂寞的需求是很难的。
只有那些善于自娱自乐,
喜欢独处,不爱社交的人才能做到。
没事别用距离考验别人的感情,
这方法根本证明不了感情,
只能让你见识寂寞的力量。
我输了,彻彻底底的输了。。。
当你很down时,我竟然随便的问一句,而他就陪了你一个晚上。。。
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
一千句的安慰,不如一个真心的拥抱
Posted by kethung at 10:02 AM 0 comments
爱很美丽
当一切停了下来,
都己经走远了,
我便很不想再想起,
可是我的确相信,
相信有一种人是为爱而活着的.
我一直相信,
真爱会在我身边出现,
所以我一直不愿意放下来.
我一直背负着伤痛,
一路走来.
才发现这个世界真的只有这么大,
其实人的能力真的很有限,
竟然对爱情这个东西无可奈何.
每个人都有自己的故事.
我当然也不例外.
我有我的故事.
在我的故事里,
能看到最多的就是伤心.
从那个时候那个时间起,
我的心便死了,
我不敢再回头.
回头太难.
可是,
总是在不经意间想起一个瞬间,
像电影快片一样闪过,
我的心于是又开始伤感起来.
心情也会因此很差,
就现在也是如此,
许久没有提笔了,
也忘了提笔的理由,
不知道是为了封存记忆,
还是为了别的什么,
可是今夜,
我的心又开始泛滥成灾了.
一个名字,
一段时间,
可以在脑子里存在着多久?
我不知道,
我只是觉得有些事不是刻意的就好.
顺其自然就好了,
慢慢就好了,
其实失去了就是永恒.
曾经以为爱情会很美,
很浪漫.
爱过以后才知道,
爱更多的时候是伤痛.
伤痛才实在.
这也许才是真实的人生.
像那些虚无漂渺的东西,
离我很远很远,
只在童话世界里才可能找得到.
最近很忙也很累,
累的坐下了就不想起来,
总是觉得浑身软软的.
也许这样的日子充实些.
可以暂时的放下一切,
连休息的时间都没有了,
就没有时间去想别的了.
这样的日子过一阵子,
心情就会好一些.慢慢就会好起来.
人闲下来的时候其实都是在回忆,
因为现在在眼前,
看得到,
以后的还想不到,
太远了.
只有过去,
是真真实实的发生过的
所以我其实一直是活在回忆里的.
很多时候,
比如我写的文章,
大多也写的是过去发生过的.
我是个怀旧的人.
我想大多数人也和我一样,
会一直记得过去的一些人和事,
总是在不经意想起,
曾经的那个年代,
那段时光.
在一个特定的地点.
几个人之间,
发生着一些故事.
或者很俗.
或者动人.
如同行路有平坦,
有坑洼.
过去了很久了,
还是记得.
记得一些人和事.
那像是暗流,在心里慢慢涌动
Posted by kethung at 9:57 AM 0 comments
Monday, May 17, 2010
When a GIRL is Quite...Million of things are running in her Mind...
When a GIRL is not Arguing... She is thinking Deeply...
When a GIRL looks at you with eyes full of questions... she is Wondering how long you will be Around...
When a GIRL answers "I'm FINE" after a few seconds... she is not at all fine...
When a GIRL stares at you she is wondering why you are lying...
When a GIRL lays in your chest... she is wishing for you to be hers forever...
When a GIRL wants to see you everyday... she wants to be pampered...
When a GIRL says 'I LOVE YOU'... she means it...
When a GIRL says 'I MISS YOU'... no one in this world can miss you more than that...
Life only comes around once make sure u spend it with the right person...
Posted by kethung at 7:11 AM 0 comments
Thursday, May 13, 2010
如果你懂得珍惜,你会发现你获得的越来越多,
如果你一味追求,你会发现你失去的越来越快。
一个人绝望的时候,就需要一种发泄方式,
但面对人生有些事情,并不是我们付出努力就可以把握的,
有些人并不是我们真诚面对就可以换取真心的,
有些事情不是经过努力就可以挽回的。
身处人世间,人们会有许多不如意和许多无能为力的事情,
或许有些事情本来就是应该如此的,
虽然我们也许不曾做错什么,也在全心努力着,
但终将无法改变命运,这就是命运不得我挑选。
爱情合理就好,不要委屈将就,
不要相信完美的爱情,
其实,你只要知道,彼此有缺点,
一种纯朴的可爱就足够了。
可以浪漫,但不要浪费;
可以随时牵手,但不要随便分手。
我们拥有一只鞋子的时候,才会明白失去另一只鞋子的滋味,
失去的东西总是最好的,消逝的恋情总是刻骨铭心的,
珍惜或放下,都是生命中必经的过程。
做好自己的本分,不要为了讨好别人改变自己,
当然,也不要为了某些因素,固执不通。
相爱的时候需要真诚,
争执的时候需要沟通,
生气的时候需要冷静,
愉快的时候需要分享,
指责的时候需要谅解。
一个人的生命里,擦间而过的人有千千万万,有几个是知音?
有几个是深爱自己的人?
与其众里寻求千百回,不如疼惜眼前真情人。
爱情再怎么坚固,总是无法承受忙碌的侵蚀,
你忙得天荒地乱,
你忙得忘记关心,
你忙得身心疲惫,
你忙得无所适从,
我只想说: -----爱情不是等你有空才珍惜。
Posted by kethung at 5:48 PM 0 comments
在一堂生理课上,女老师讲完课后
说:“同学们,谁还有不明白的地方,请举手提问,老师给你解答。
过了一会儿,一个男同学举起手来,
一脸正经地问女老师:
“老师,男人和女人做爱的时候,是男人舒服一些?还是女人舒服一些?”
女老师略想了一下
说:“请问你用手抠鼻子时,是鼻子舒服?还是手舒服?”
男同学一想,嗯,是鼻子舒服!就坐下了。
女老师接着问:“同学们,谁还有不明白的地方,请举手提问,老师给你解答。”
沉默了一会儿,又是那个男同学举手
问女老师:“老师,男人和女人做爱的时候,是戴避孕套舒服,还是不戴避孕套舒服?”
女老师立刻答道:“请问当你鼻子痒时,是戴手套抠舒服还是不戴手套抠舒服?”
男同学一想,嗯,是不戴手套舒服,又坐下了。
女老师又接着问:“同学们,谁还有不明白的地方,请提问,老师给你解答。”
女老师问了两篇,这时,还是那个男同学,又站起来
问:“老师,为什么女人来了月经。就不能做爱那?”
女老师略带不悦地说:“那你鼻子出血的时候。你还用你的手抠你的鼻子吗?”
男同学一想,嗯,也是啊!
女老师又接着问:“同学们,谁还有不明白的地方,请抓紧时间提问。”
不一会,那位男同学又把手举起来了,问女老师:
“老师,做爱时既然女人比男人舒服些,为什么男人强奸女人时,女人都要反抗呢?”
这时老师大怒,叭地一拍桌子,
说:...... (你走在大街上,别人过来抠你的鼻子,你愿意吗?
Posted by kethung at 5:32 PM 0 comments
Posted by kethung at 5:16 PM 0 comments
Random~
What comes 1st in your mind when u know get a Leukemia??? i think everyone are very shocked, me too... How i know i get this CML?
Since August of 2009, there was a 1st 喜事 in my "Yong's Family" which is my lovely cousin, Benny and his wife, Stella wedding. This is the 1st 喜事 in my life, he sponsored my flight for asking me to attend his wedding. At that time i also got tuition free week, then i go back loh... This can say 有缘bah... Dunno why my mom suddenly ask me do a medical check-up, of course i go lah... After all the good things, is time for me to go back miri n continue my studies.. But the clinic called me that my medical check-up report has came out and asked me to take. U know what the report said? It said that i suspected i might have CML (at that time i still dunno what is CML) because my white blood cell is more than normal 170x.. I totally stunned for few minutes... The doctor suggested me to see a specialist in blood 1... After that, i convinced myself that the report is mixed with others people... then i go for another blood test again, the result still the same... what i can do, just look at the sky ask why is me... At that moment, i just realize that life is no take 2...
After that, i was sent to QEH to see the specialist there, because whole Sabah just have 1 specialist to see this kind of blood diseases. The doctor suggested me to stop my studies in order to find out what's wrong with me. But when i saw my dad totally down and sad, i have decided that i cant give up, i need to stand strong in order to make my family feels comfortable. At that time, i realized that cry is cant solve any problems, cry won't help anythings. Therefore, i must be optimism and think positively. Time pass very fast, half year+ gone already, i still alive and studying in Curtin.
As a conclusion, we should appreciated what we have.
我们要珍惜眼前的一切,错过了后悔也来不及了...
Posted by kethung at 1:16 AM 0 comments
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
12052010
Today is a tired day for me. I just slept 3 hours for last night, this is because this morning i had a LAW222 mid-term test. Totally speechless for this test, last week tutor said got 25MCQ and 2 short answer questions, but mine is 30MCQ, dunno this is good or not... This is the 1st test that i have the most confidence to pass if compare with other units like 215, 250, 203... Hopefully i can pass...LOL...
Dunno why this few days i feels like bad mood. May be influence by someone bah... Now i just realize that why got this kind of people in this world... I dunno wan to say he stupid or like a 木头人, totally no response or he act like nothing... This guy seriously 身在福中不知福, i dunno i jealous him or 羡慕 him... But he say she is not his type, which kind of girls that u wan o??? got this kind of girl likes u, u seriously 前世修回来的福气... 其实做人不需要太多要求的... Besides that, not only u choose people, people also choosing u, OK? For me, got a person that who cares n talk to me is enough liao... May be my 要求不高 bah, or i m a guy that dunno his future n what going to happen in tomorrow. 算了吧,越讲越气... 早点睡吧... Good Nitez~~
Posted by kethung at 8:43 AM 0 comments
12052010: My First Time to Blog....
This is my first time to blog... Feels like very excited and a new stuff for me... Trying to blog it everyday...
Posted by kethung at 8:33 AM 0 comments